Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year, New Look




Happy New Year Everyone!

As those of you who've been here before can see, there's a bit of a different look going on here at GATAB!  I've been thinking about making some changes for a while now and playing around behind the scenes with some photos in Picasa and Picnik, and I decided that there probably wasn't a better time to do it than now. After all, it is the start of a fresh, new year, right?

I've never been one for New Year's resolutions.  Probably because I'm not very good at keeping them. At 50 years old, I doubt that aspect of my personality will change much.

I'd rather look at it more as me, setting some new goals for myself in 2012.



One of the things I've learned in the half century that I've been on this planet, is that I have no power over the past. (trust me... that one took a while) What I do have, however, is the ability to decide how I'm going to move forward and into the the next phase of my life.

The loss of our youngest daughter 11 years ago, had a profound impact on us. For a very long time, I lived my life on auto pilot. I spent my days just going through the motions and my nights in indescribable pain. It tested my marriage. It tested pretty much everything that I thought I knew and it all but destroyed my faith. I'm still not "over it".  I never will be.  You don't get over the loss of a child. If you're lucky, by the Grace of God and the love and support of family and friends, you get through it.

As with most things that impact our lives so profoundly, it becomes clear pretty quickly that your life will never be the same again.  It's about making choices. It's about making a conscious effort to make the best of what life hands us.

So, in the spirit of the New Year, it's time for me to choose....  It's time for things to change.



Changes
David Bowie

I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't tell t hem to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time


Wishing You Blessings, Health and Happiness in the New Year

Mary



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9 comments:

  1. Oh Mary, I had no idea that you had lost a child. My heart goes out to you in both sympathy and in admiration that here you are functioning and moving forward in life.

    Wishing you and your family a wonderful, happy New Year and I love your new blog design! xx

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  2. Mary...so sorry about your loss...you are such a strong lady!

    May the changes this year bring you much peace and happiness!!!!

    Happy HAPPY New Year my friend!

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great song for a new year ahead...

    Good luck with your changes!

    Happy New Year!

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  4. Happy New Year! Love the look of the blog. Here's to another year of blogging friendship ")

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  5. I am so happy to see you take any steps that you feel are true to you. That is what it is all about. You are awesome and it is a crime not to let the whole world get to feel it and know YOU.

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  6. Happy New Year and sending blessings for smooth days ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cate & Ginger: Thank you. Life is fragile and unpredictable but I believe that the human spirit is stronger than we know. We're blessed with incredibly loving and supportive family and friends who've held us up when we've needed it most.

    Championm2000: Thanks! It's always been one of my favorite Bowie songs.

    Sue: Thank you my dear! I stressed about it for a while, but figured it was time to go for it! Raising my glass right back atchya!

    Rob: Thank you for saying that... I hope you realize that you're pretty danged awesome yourself! Here's to 2012 being a year of healing for both of us...

    Shawn: I'm wishing the same for you, Bill and your beautiful family!

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  8. Just beautiful - the new look, your radiant smile, your poignant words which brought me to tears. You're right - we have a choice over how to live, and live we must. As you sadly know well, life is far too short. Your guardian angel daughter is watching over you, wanting you to jump in to every opportunity for LIFE, for JOY ....

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  9. Aah Mrs. B- you made me cry.
    I think you are fantastic and strong and a lovely spirit.
    Thanks so much for never failing to inspire me.

    Your friend-
    Tracy

    ReplyDelete

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